bullitt5G <clauson@...> wrote:
Over the past couple of years and especially the past 6 months or so I have been asked what did we get out of 1/4 midgets. While the racing and family time spent together is obvious. I think it’s the things that are so hard to put into words that explain it best. I wrote this after Bryan won his first USAC National race this past October. I am not quite sure why I wrote it as I am not much of a writer. Last night I was talking with a friend who is very involved in 1/4 midgets and his kid is 8 years old and he was struggling with staying in the sport do to the costs and politics and he asked me if I thought it was worth all of the effort. I don't know why but I shared this letter of sorts with him. I was really surprised by his reaction and he thought I should share it. Please excuse the grammar, misspelled words etc.
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I remember back to when we started this journey just a dad and his son heading down the road with the race car in tow heading to another dirt track. While I had done this myself for many years, driving race cars, it was well…. just different with your son now behind the wheel. It doesn't seem like all that long ago when he was just six years old and we were heading to yet another race that he asked me " Dad what do you want for your birthday?" After thinking awhile I answered "What I want more then anything in this world is for you to pass just one car this weekend, just one…" Or the time after a heartbreaking loss when maybe dad came across as wanting it more then son and had to be reminded what this is all about by having a six year old tell me " You know dad I wanted to win just as much as you did it wasn't like I was trying to lose." Sometimes you wonder who is teaching who in these situations.
Fast forward 6 years your little racer is fast approaching his teenage years and with that definitely comes a mind of their own, but still the weekends are spent the same heading to a race somewhere. At some point you begin to wonder if the time the money the effort is worth it. Then you are reminded. It's usually just some small thing, a comment, a moment, something. After an unusually long layoff, after a really strong run in a new venue or a new class of cars or as the kid reminds you "a new challenge." There it is right in front of you. On that long drive home, which has been made over and over again. "You know dad this is what I missed" "I know son that was a great run tonight" "no not the run, the ride home you know just you and I getting to talk" How many dads have that conversation with there 12-13 year old son?
And here we are 16 years old living the life. Big time rides racing 3-4 nights a week against the very best in the business. But dads no longer the wrench there are car owners, crew chiefs, crew members. Its easy to get lost in it all when you have been the shot caller for all of his racing career you might think it would be hard to let go. But its funny you sit back see a young man who is working along side the best in the business talking about set ups , tires , shocks and he still makes time to make sure dad is involved "what do you think dad?" Now I know it really doesn't matter what I think but it's nice he thinks enough of me to ask. I wonder how many dads have a 16 year old that would make such an effort. As I watch this car owner run down the front stretch beaming, almost choked up, it is almost surreal. It used to be me making that run. Pride that we had just won, Pride that we did it, pride that we accomplished it together. You run down there too wondering should you get in the pictures. I mean after all you are "just the dad". People congratulate you as if you had some big hand in the events of the night. You thank them almost embarrassed. Then it hits you that while winning tonight definitely gives you the same rush and adrenaline as before it becomes much more satisfying knowing that all of the years of sacrifice by not only dad, but, mom, daughter, and son has not only helped him become a great racecar driver but also a really great young man as well.
As we head out to the truck for yet another long ride home this one is a little different while I think we always hope that our kids will need us it is becoming increasingly clear that he is going to be just fine on his own. As we head out the gates: "We did it dad" "yea we did didn't we." I am not quite sure if the "we" met him and me or him and the team but for at least one more night I will believe he met him and me. As we talked on the way home about the night's events, plans for the future, school, work, ECT. I thought to myself of all the things that we have experienced racing across the country the last 11 years "This is what I am going to miss, just him and I talking on the way home from these races".
Tim Clauson